Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
