thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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