She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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