Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
