Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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