i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
