he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
