why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
