I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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