What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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