Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
