I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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