My boss' voice literally gives me gas
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize