Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
