Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
