Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
