I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
