Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
