i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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