it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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