If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
