If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
