This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
