She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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