God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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