Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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