ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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