Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The power of my boobs compel you
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
