What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
