I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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