Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
