I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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