Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
