Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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