Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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