Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
