What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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