escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
