Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
