he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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