i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
