How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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