Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
