dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
