I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
