More tranny stories later!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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