i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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