For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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