He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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