you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
