he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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