I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
