what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
