I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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