there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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