I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
