all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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