she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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