We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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