I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
