he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize