hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize