one might say we're banned from that church
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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